The Red Flags of an Unhealthy Relationship
So you finally found "the ONE", after years of waiting, of being with someone else, finally, finally that one particular person has cross your path, one who will embrace all of you, and you to him. You've been together for quite some time now, you're even thinking its time to take it to the next level, marriage! A house, a car, a dog, a kid or two?
But wait, are you sure? I mean really, really sure? Can the both of you stand each other for the rest of your lives? Its forever we're talking here. Questions, doubts, a never ending one for that matter. I hope I can answer it for you, or rather I hope I have the answer to your questions.
Premature decisions, late realizations, and the next thing you knew, you where signing divorce papers. That's sad, thinking that person is "the One", and yet you both failed to stay together, and that uneasiness is starting to crawl up your head. Perhaps this are just what people call "wedding jitters", but what if its not? Are there any signs to prevent you from signing that awful divorce paper? Of course there is.
Here are 3 red flags that you should be aware of before you let things go any further.
1. He/She's Just Not That Into You.
Admit it or not, sex is an important factor in marriage. Although, being not really into sex is something that can be a plus to other, (time of the month, not in the mood, too tired from work, working overtime etc) it can also raise an issue, a suspicion, in the long run. Why does he/she not insisting of having some hot night? He's always too tired when he gets home. She's always with her girls. Then wham bam! Is he cheating on me? Is she having an affair?
Someone that never initiates sex? Who never brings it up? Who never tries to seduce you? You need to look into that, because it's definitely atypical. There are many reasons why someone may not seem interested in sex. He or she could be gay, he or she could be depressed and he or she may be getting some on the side. Whatever the problem is, you'd better uncover it before making a commitment because it's almost always an indication of a bigger issue that's just going to blow up in a much worse way later on.
2. Mood Swing and Coping Up
This touches on two things crucial to a long-term relationship, Emotional resilience and healthy coping mechanisms. We all have our ups and downs, we're human. It's how we respond that matters. How does one handle changes? Rejections? Failures? Big or small, how does he/she face these circumstances?
There are healthy ways to deal with stress and there are unhealthy ways. If you saw your partner mopping around like a child with even the slightest, smallest ordeal, your facing a huge, huge trouble dear. Make sure that your partner can see past the frustrations of the moment, that he/she can deal with it using his/her own strength and abilities, that he can get back up, standing proud and tall.
3. A lone wolf with few friends who feels largely misunderstood by the world.
This has a romantic allure, only you truly understand your partner. You're both that special. But there's a dark side to this personality type that could undermine your relationship down the road. Everyone should have at least a couple long-term friends. That's a sign of loyalty and empathy.
Even artists with eccentric vision find people to connect with. You want to see your man or woman connecting with others in a positive way because it shows he can work as a team and marriage is a lot about teamwork. Plus, you cannot be anyone's sole life line. It's unhealthy to be anyone's "everything." That’s what you call codependent relationship.
Just because you're finally facing a relationship deal breaker doesn't necessarily mean it's over between you forever. Maybe it means your partner needs to get help so he can get to a place where he or she can truly commit to you. Helping him or her face the issues is the most altruistic, selfless way to love your partner.