The Secrets To A Happier Relationship

Monday, February 23, 2015 Jae Rustia 0 Comments

The Secrets To A Happier Relationship

Let’s embark on a journey towards happiness and hopefully pick something along the way that can help our relationships happier.

Happy vs Unhappy: Studies say that the ratio for happy couple is 5:1, while couples who had called it quits are at 0.8:1. This means that the happy couples have five positive interactions for every negative one, versus the 0.8 positive interactions for every negative one that divorced couples go through.

Communication: The determining factor in whether couples feel satisfied with sex, romance and passion in their marriage is by 70%. Happy couples and successful marriage spend at least 5 hours a week of being together doing anything or maybe just talking.

How do we cultivate positive interactions on a daily basis? This can be done by giving compliments, showing appreciation either big or small deeds done for us, relieving fun memories and doing something nice to our partners.

In the Bedroom: It is also important to give importance the activities inside the bedroom. As the survey shows, the happiest couple have sex 2 or 3 times a week, people are 55% more likely to report higher levels of happiness when they have sex every few days and having sex once a week makes people 44% more likely to have positive feelings.

Celebration!: When it comes to strengthening the relationship, studies show that the most crucial factor is how you celebrate your partner’s good news. In one study, people who did this 3x a day for 1 week increased their happiness and felt less depressed afterwards. Also, couples who have new experiences together report more loving and supportive towards one another, and more satisfied with their marriages. This can be done by simply showing enthusiasm, asking questions, congratulating their partner and relieving the experience with them. Oh, don't forget the anniversary, the birthday and that mushy day called Valentines Day, simple things to the most grandest gestures can bring more fire to your relationship.

The Michelangelo Effect: A couple in the happiest relationship also brings out the best in each other, they help each other get closer to becoming their ideal selves. In another study, couples who were asked to recall a moment that involved shared laughter reported being more satisfied in their relationship than those prompted to recall positive moments in their relationship. This can be achieved by sharing an experience together like going for an evening walk, dining in a new restaurant, exploring a place they’re never been, cooking together and going to a concert.

Kung-Fu (Fighting): Not all relationships are perfect, through course of time, a clash is inevitable. Let us look on how a happy couple and unhappy couple tackle this important part of being in a relationship.

When happy couples fight, they tend to defuse tension by showing humor, expressing affection or conceding on certain points that their partner make while unhappy couple tends to criticize, show contempt, roll their eyes, act defensively, resort to name calling or tune out.

After Effect of I Do's: Based on a two decade British study, the people who are happiest with their marriages are those who have been married 5 years or less, don’t have any children, have college degrees and the man of house is employed.

With regards to being married, Americans reveals the top 5 reasons why they get into marriage. The top reason is Love at 93% followed by Making a Lifelong Commitment at 87% then Companionship at 81% succeeded by Having Children at 59% and lastly due to Financial Stability at 31%. In addition, couples who can put a positive spin on their marriage have a 94% chance of experiencing a happy future together.

Plus One-Two-Three: One of the most important phases of a couple is having children. For some, this can be either a blessing or a curse, depending on the couple. Based on studies, right immediately following the birth of the first baby, 33% feel just as satisfied or more satisfied than before while 67% experiences a big dip in marital satisfaction.

Education: Education comes next to having children. Married couples are unhappiest when kids are in pre-school mainly because of separation anxiety and the feel of their kid/children growing up to soon while couples’ happiest levels increase once again once the youngest kid has grown up.

From the Beginning to the Twilight Zone: Lastly, Marriages leads to a big happiness boost for 2 years, on the average. After that, couples’ happiness levels tend to return to what they were prior to the engagement.

A happy marriage is also worth an additional $105,000 a year in terms of life satisfaction while experiencing the death of a spouse/partner is like losing $308,780 per year.


A Dateless, Boyfriend less Valentine’s Day Can Also Be Fun!

Sunday, February 15, 2015 Jae Rustia 0 Comments

The title probably sounds so bitter, but I don’t feel bitter at all, in fact, I had a really great time with myself.

Earlier, I had a sumptuous breakfast with my family - which for some reason, we have a complete table attendance except for my dad who’s working outside the country – a little chat here and there, a few minutes of playtime with my ten month old nephew, and the next thing I knew, I was alone in the house.

My sister has a prom to attend so she, together with our mom, left early for her salon appointment. We bought a meal + beauty + pampering GC for our mom on the same hotel where my sister’s prom will be held.

My brother probably had a date or, is going to look for a date with his unattached friends. The other brother went out with his wife and their kid, plus our dog, so I was really alone.

A few weeks before, I was invited for an event but I declined since I had things already planned (a meeting with a potential client on Valentine’s Day, that sucks!), which was cancelled the night before Valentine’s Day (so annoying!) and my friends already found something (more like someone) to do on the VDay.

So, alone in a big house, with nothing to do and nowhere to go to (more like too lazy to move) I decided to catch up with some good movies. However, before that, let’s go prepare some drinks as well as something to eat since I don’t particularly like to order pizza or whatever, and the easiest, fastest but yummy food to cook is pasta. All you need is pasta of course, some tomato’s, olive oil, some spices and it’ll be a good, fulfilling food.

Prepare two pans, one is for the pasta, the other is for the sauce, boil some water, add some salt, dump the pasta and wait till its al dente. On the other pan, sauté garlic, onion, tomato’s, add your spices, salt and pepper, if you have meat or seafood or veggies go and dump it all in. I had spaghetti alla puttanesca. For the drinks, I just prepared a pitcher of orange juice with lots of ice and some gin, just a little bit.

Next, prepare the DVD’s, the sofa, the blanket and lot’s of pillow if you choose to watch on the living room, which I did, since the entertainment system is installed in our living room.

I had a Legolas marathon, from the “The Lord Ring” trilogy The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers and The Return of the King, to the “The Hobbit” trilogy An Unexpected Journey, The Desolation of Smaug and the Battle of the Five armies.

I started around two or three o’clock? I fell asleep somewhere in the middle of the second installment of the hobbit trilogy, woke up with the movie credits on the screen, put the last DVD, and voila it’s past 12 midnight, another Valentine’s Day is over, I ate my own cooked meal, had a drink I made myself, watch a movie all by myself and survived the day of love, and frankly I can say, indeed I had fun giving myself some love.

P.S. Check out this List of Fantabulous Idea’s to Own Valentine’s Day.


Hey, Single Ladies! Here’s a List of Fantabulous Idea’s to Own Valentine’s Day

Thursday, February 12, 2015 Jae Rustia 0 Comments

All the single ladies (All the single ladies)
All the single ladies (All the single ladies)
All the single ladies (All the single ladies)
All the single ladies
Now put your hands up

What’s your reason for being alone this Valentine’s Day? Was it by choice? Did you get your heart broken? Someone jilted on you, or was it you who broke someone’s heart? Or maybe it’s the classic no boyfriend since birth kind of thing?

Whatever your reason is, being alone seems like a crazy idea this big V Day while being single is such a pathetic thing. (Oh, come on! Don’t try to deny it to me, once or twice, you feel pathetic for being single this love month – I do too, no biggie)

Moreover, what’s so hateful about this day is that being single is like committing a crime, your attached friends will try to set you up on a blind date, your family (your mom, your aunt’s and your sister in particular) will introduced you to this guy, your sister’s colleague, her boyfriend’s friend, one of the many son, nephew, godchild of your aunt or your mother’s friend etc.

For me it’s like testing my patience and sometimes a hassle. I am not in a rush to date, or to fall in love again. But being alone and doing nothing like it’s just a regular day on the calendar is just unacceptable. So I listed down some things you can do alone or with your single friends on Valentine’s Day.

1. Browse some dating apps: Cheapest and easiest way to pass some hours during the V Day. Swipe right if he/she caught your attention, swipe left for those who didn’t get you curious, shake here and there to find someone near your place, etc.

You can choose which one to join among the hundreds of dating apps available for android and iPhone users. There is Tinder, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, OkCupid etc and oh! Did you know that there are dating apps that caters solely to the LGBT community? Remember to add on your best picture, who knows, maybe your soul mate is on that other line. Don’t tell me you don’t own a smartphone? Who in this generation doesn’t have a smartphone?

2. Join a Speed Dating Event: A little taboo and out of fashion but hey it’s fun, you’ll get to know lots of people, you get to practice your social skills, dress up (one speed dating event I participated had a theme) make new friends or meet a possible love interest, not bad right?

3. Make it a Family Affair: What’s so bad about spending your Valentine’s Day with your family? My dad works out of the country so we (me and my siblings) make it a point to celebrate Valentine’s Day with our mom. Treat her out to lunch or dinner, give her flowers, an out of town trip, or a shopping spree is not a bad idea.

4. Singles Party: Gather up your single friends or better yet invite all the singles in town and party. Not sure if you can be a good host? RSVP yes to an invitation or better yet, crash someone else’s party. Good food, good music and a couple glasses of booze and it’s a night of fun.

5. Me time: Indulge yourself, be it a lavish mani-pedi, body scrub, massage kind of activity or the shop till you drop kind of thing, or just go home early, binge on good food, good wine and an even better movie, a good rest, a long nap and you’ll be surprised how blooming and radiant you’ll be the next day, so go on, spend the day loving yourself.

Food For Your Thoughts: 
Don't worry if your single, 
God is looking at you right now saying, 
"I am saving this girl for someone special"